WOW.

I've only been in two rooms of my house so far, and I gotta tell you, it's not looking good. Pretty sure I was legally brain dead for a while last night. But that's not why I'm posting. I am SORTA back. And I have to say, my prediction was pretty accurate. Now, you may be asking yourselves some questions right about now. Why did he come back so soon? Is he feeling better? Will he be his old self? Why are my nipples purple?! Uh... That's a personal one, sorry. Just looked in the mirror for the first time in days. May need to go to the hospital later. But in answer to these questions: My booze ran out, due to my Irish friends. I am feeling a whole lot better, nothing like purple nipples to start the day off right. Well, we'll see. I'm in a good mood at ten in the morning, so that might be a good sign. And apparently that girl(?) was a biter. As for the rest of your questions, ask them yourself, I'm not feeling very imaginative today.

And now I should probably stop them from making omelets. Something about Condor eggs. I definitely don't want to get arrested twice in one week.

...Do I even want to know, or should I just shut up, sit down, and be glad your back?

Oh, I don't know. You might enjoy it more if I didn't explain, and I'm certain you'd be healthier than if I provided an explanation. Of course, that all depends on what you want an explanation of.

...You know, I already heard my mother ay 'kinky bloodplay with flowers' today. I don't think I need anymore scarring. *Shudders*

I suppose not. Frankly, I rarely let people near my nipples, so how that girl(?) bit them is beyond me. But on to more important things: I am back, and this is for you: *HUG*

Ack! What was the hug for?

at least it wasn't biting.
Some girls are just weird (such as biters)

You needed a hug, besides, I needed to give a hug. And I think she bit my nipples. My ex was a biter, she always bit my neck, hurt like hell, too.

Welcome Back! It's good to see you! Can I address this celebration with bazookas and rum!

Well, seeing as how I'm all out of booze, (DAMN IRISH) sure, why not?

No! No weapons! Bad! I'll eat them!

Poor Stonepaw. Blade stolen by an admin's tummy. Weep for him, dear friends, his blade is his honor!

Don't worry, the cyanide katana still is in my possession

Ooh, cyanide? Yummy! *Noms it*

all is going according to plan, when shall the deathbots and traps be activated?

I ate them already, they were delicious!

This has quickly turned from a welcome back to a disgusting food contest. Shade wants his medals back.

You win a box of "Adhesive Medical Strips."

I have medals! And a box with a label none must know.

... Why did I not see this earlier?! It's hilarious!

Because you would have wanted in on my crazy parties, and the Irish are mental booze thieves!

XD Of course! It all makes sense! Aliens, zombies, and trash compactors! How did I not realize it earlier?!

Oh no! My parties are bad enough without those. Still trying to figure out how they (we?) got those eggs..... Resourceful little buggers, now aren't they (we)?

Oh! And the eggs as the magnifier for the ray! Duh, how could I forget that!?

Yeah, you definitely don't need anything like what goes on. The Irish would take you to a whole new level of madness...